One minute I'm up the air, the next minute I'm 6 feet under... I know sounds crap! But I don't know what to do. The only times I am happy is when I am either with my family, my boyfriends family or Keri. Not happy in school at all any more. Might be because I just don't understand what my teachers are telling me. I used to be crazy about school - I know what a nerd! But generally I couldn't wait to get out of bed and in to school, even when I wasn't fully understanding things I still found everything interesting. Now its just boring.
Sometimes I feel like I have no support from anyone. I ask for help and I just get pushed back by things like "you can do it", and "just try", "think harder". When really to think harder I need to understand what I actually have to be doing. I sometimes think teachers do it just because they don't want to talk to you. The teachers I have known for 5 years now, and feel like I can't go to them for help.
Anyways - enough moaning for one night!
At the moment with everything - I am actually happy. I like being able to come home to mine - get changed and then walk down the road to Steven's house. It's nice just having a little extra time together. Soon we are gunna start to get fed up of each other but who doesn't! We have a laugh, just me and him, have tickle fights, annoy each other. We could lay there or sit there for hours and not say a word to each other if we tried.
At the moment my life is perfect. Met some of Steven's family and it was a really good day out I really enjoyed it and I was happy. I hadn't felt that good in ages.
Hopefully my life continues like this - just until New Year - then I can have a whole new beginning...
I love having tickle fights, then looking in your eyes, you kiss me and tell me you love me...
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