This weekend has been fantastic. I have thought loads about Steven and I, and Keri and I. And to be honest, I think my life is finally starting to fall back into place, and I just have to fit that one last piece. That one last piece is Me!! Once I have finished changing into someone who is more relaxed, much happier, and more confident about herself, then I can put in that final puzzle piece.
This weekend has been a long one. Mainly because we had to go to my cousins wedding on Friday. It was beautiful - the food was good - the party after was amazing. Getting up on the dance floor with the closest of my family made me realise that things can happen that will tear family apart, so you have to make the most of it while you still have them close to you.
Saturday I was with more family, it was a good but tiring day.
Sunday, I was with the latest member of my family ;) Steven... We all count him as family now because he is always over. And we do anything and everything together, and mum always says, "why don't you ask Steven over", or "why don't you ask Steven to come with us". That is all I could have ever asked for. My first proper boyfriend and my family are already saying that he's one of us.
Recently I've been changing. And to be honest, I think it is for good. I feel better about myself. I feel more confident and seem more relaxed, and even my close friends have been telling me that I have changed, and they like the change. To be honest, I feel like nothing is impossible any more. Everything has a solution, you just have to work hard to find it. And I have. And I am going to keep doing that until I am happy with me and everything around me.
I don't have a best friend. To be honest, I don't really see the point in just having one best friend. I mean they expect you to drop things for them, they expect you to see them all the time, they expect you to just be friends with them and no-one else. This is one thing I have changed. I don't need a best friend. I need all my close friends, and knowing that people prefer me like this makes me happier. You see I always think that people that want their "best friends" all to themselves are really really selfish. I mean do you not think that they may have a life that doesn't involve you. You can't brainwash people into being a clone of you. Following you around and being you're friend when to be honest all you are really doing is holding on to them because you have nobody else to turn to once they go to someone else.
Sometimes you don't realise what you have until you lose it. I guess in a way, when I found Keri again I realised what I had lost in the first place. I lost the fun in me. Yeah I could still sometimes be fun, but I wasn't being me fun, I was being someone else fun. Now it is time to let go a little more.....
Love those who treat you right and forget about those who don't....
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